The sparks. The butterflies. The heartbeats that never seem to slow down. The great surge of emotions drowning you in its wave. The ultimate yearning for someone’s presence.
They’re all true, I was told.
But no one ever warned me that love has more to offer.
That love entails not just the mere tangible objects or the little things. That love – even in its simplest form – is deeper than what the eyes can see or what the mind can fathom.
Love is more than just those.
But no one warned me so I wasn’t ready.
I wasn’t told that it’s not the sparks that actually ignite you, it’s the fireworks. Love is the explosion in the sky at New Year’s Eve and you are not just simply the bystander. You are the sky. It explodes inside of you and suddenly, what was then the darkness in you was filled with colors outshining every bit of gray, correcting every bit of wrong.
I wasn’t informed that it’s not the butterflies that flutter in your stomach. It’s that unexplainable feeling – the anxiety, numbness, and happiness all in one. It’s that fear of falling but at the same time, the courage to risk it all. The butterflies were never just the ones to blame. And no one dared to tell me that.
Love is the explosion in the sky at New Year’s Eve and you are not just simply the bystander. You are the sky.
I didn’t know that it wasn’t just the quickening heartbeats that seem to be running for their lives. It’s the slowing of your pulse and calming of your heart when you are near that person because you feel safe and assured that no one will hurt you. It’s the genuineness of every second that you’re not required to fake yourself to be enough for him or her. It’s that person accepting you for who you are but still choosing to spend the moments with you, a human full of flaws and broken shards. It’s the time you want to slow down or cease because you don’t want these moments to pass.
No one said it wasn’t merely the surging emotions of panic and euphoria. It’s the utter silence of the world when that person’s talking. It’s the blurring of everything when you’re looking at him or her. It’s the loss of words and the complete speechlessness when you have to explain the feeling when you are near each other. It’s the mending of the cosmos, even only for the two of you.
I haven’t heard that it’s not just the ultimate desire for someone’s presence. It’s wanting that person to always be happy wherever he or she is. It’s hoping that wherever they may be, the thought of you even passed by in their minds for even a second. It’s accepting that even though you’re not with them or you can’t ever be with them, they are safe and pleased to be wherever they are.
No one ever warned me so I wasn’t ready and I don’t think I ever will be. But love? Or at least, falling in love? I know it’s worth the risk. I know it’s worth the fear.
Because at the end of the day, you may smile realizing how lucky you are to meet that person or you may hurt knowing you can’t ever be with them. Either way, they passed by your life. They made it a little bit more livable. They made living a little more worth it.
What they said about love were all true, but I believe there’s more. And every day, there will be more. Because it’s in our existence to feel it – whatever the feeling of love is for each of us. They’re all different. They’re all unique. What’s love for me may not be love for you.
But hear this, you will define love and love will define you. Let it, my love. Just let it be. Take the risk. Don’t be afraid. I promise, love is and will always be worth it in the end.
From the deepest of my heart,